Family Gatherings and patriarchy: With a sheep tide to a pole at the back of the house, only Uncle Jabulani is expected to slaughter it, But not why Koko Dlamini? In black communities, patriarchal system, based on fathers and uncles as head of the household, affects families in a way and often posses a significant risk factor to equal parenthood and authority in our homes. The perspectives of young people on issues relating to parenthood, decision-making and how parents treats sons and daughters paints a sad patriarchal picture amongst our black households. In my experience, men, especially when families gathered together, are expected to perform certain duties that women are not allowed to. Could this only be attributed to culture and tradition? or there's masculinity vested within? boys and girls are also limited to what they can do and cannot do, which I often find problematic. If I were to help my lady cousin with dishes during a family gathering, the possibility of me being bashed with a knopkiri over the head is huge. Male elders will find it rather a taboo and less of a man. Patriarchy over the years befriended our cultures and traditions, which often makes it impossible to distinguish between patriarchy and culture. I spent most of my time in Gauteng living all by myself, which meant nobody but me has to do dishes, laundry and other home-bound duties. Why can't I do the same during a Christmas lunch? Pretending to be more of a man at the expense of women does not really help, and who actually said me doing dishes makes me less of a man?. Isn't it time Koko Dlamini slaughters the sheep and uncle Jabulani do the dishes? would it really hurt? However, dissolving and destroying patriarchy in our homes does not mean we should also do away with our scared cultures and traditions. How do we integrate our cultures into the modern society so that we can do away with patriarchy?